So – the 2007 Tony’s have been awarded. Yippee! Woohoo.
I enjoyed the fact that there were no hosts – Hugh Jackman can finally busy himself in other arenas. Maybe he will take up latch-hooking since he does not have to learn any new Broadway medleys. Good for him – and the Tony viewers. However - poor Angela Lansbury. I love her. I hate to see her deteriorating in front of our eyes. She was such a rock in the theatre, and now the our rock is crumbling. Angela we love you.
Now, on to the winners (or at least the ones I feel strongly about)
First off – let me just say that even though Legally Blonde was not any where near being close to “Best Musical” quality – but it should have definitely been nominated. Because most of the other shows were equally crappy. At least Legally Blonde had some good parts. Or at the very least they should have had Laura Bell Bundy perform. They had the motherfuckers from “Jersey Boys” perform. Why not Elle Woods? Huh!? I did love that Laura Bell Bundy looked exactly like Anna Nicole Smith. If she won – she should have gone up to the microphone and said (through her booze and pills) “Trimspa Baby! Whoo!”. That would have been wonderful. Anyhoo…
The Winners:
Best Musical – Spring Awakening
I have not seen this show. However…it is the new RENT. Pretend it is 1995 – every theatre geek is a RENT-head. This is what is going on right now. I hate it. In the beginning with all of the hoopla and publicity, I thought it must be a really good show. Now, I have heard the music, seen a billion youtubes, etc. Yes, all of this is not the same as seeing the actual production - but have now come to the conclusion that it is sooo not a good show. It is like a choir concert at a high school with a big budget and talented high schoolers. What the fuck is with the microphones? I hate the blending of all of the styles – the choreography, the costumes, the period acting, the fucking LAME ASS (HENIOUS) director! Boo! I will see this show eventually – but not soon. To quote Garth on the train with the cast of Spring Awakening:
Garth : Hey there – are you guys in a show? (nice/pleasant)
Bitchy Fag Boi from Cast: Yeah – Spring Awakening….? (bitchy/faggy)
Garth : Well whoop-de-fuckin-doo!
Best Book of a Musical – Steven Sater
Ok – I was high when I watched the TONYs – but this guy was creepy. I thought he was weeping, but after closer inspection I think he had some sort of palsy. Ewww – palsy. He also had a freaky forehead. Anyone? Anyone? Oh – and he was sooo gay right? What was with the wife and kids bit? In my opinion Mary Poppins should have won for the Book. Sure, the musical sucked and the thing was never funny….but that was not the fault of the script – that was shitty acting/direction. Nevermind – I just checked and Mary Poppins was not even nominated. I’m going to have to go with Legally Blonde. Again, the same goes for this cast – good book with shitty acting and direction – minus Laura Bell Bundy and Anna Leigh Ashford.
Best Original Score – Duncan Sheik
Duncan Sheik – need I say more? I hate it when people say that this is a good route for Broadway to go. People are saying that this is the musical that changes our generation. What? What about Hedwig??? What about Mel Brooks? Seriously – Duncan Sheik?
Best Theatrical Event – Jay Johnson?
Who the hell is Jay Johnson? Where was this event? My apologizes to Kiki and Herb!
Best Revival of a Musical – Company
No surprises here. I do not like this trend of having actors play their own instruments. It was fine with Sweeney. But no more! Please! Unless it is CATS - I would like to see them do CATS. They could use kazoos and slide-whistles! Chorus Line might have held a chance if the actor/singers could act. They would have also needed to cast a “Cassie” that could at least be 1/3 of a triple threat. She really can’t do anyting.
Leading Actress in a Play – Julie White!
I loved her speech! Best speech of the night! She needs to play this part in the movie. God she is great.
Best Actor in a Musical – David Hyde Pierce
Really? For Curtains? Hmmmm. It is my belief that they gave him the TONY because he came out of the closet a few months ago. Not like anyone was surprised – but the TONY’s are so GAY! They love it. Raul Esperaza and the fact that he sucks dick now, is old hat. Everyone thought that is would go to Raul – but after seeing his ANGRY rendition of “Being Alive” – I am glad it did not go to him. They should have given the award to David Hyde Pierce for his performance in Spamalot – but they probably figured he is not going to be the lead of another musical in a while.
Best Actress in a Musical – Christine Ebersole
Yeehaw! I love her. She so deserved this. Her performance was flawless. I am also very glad that she gave a shout-out to the Edies. Yay!
Featured Actress in a Musical – Mary Louise Wilson
Hooray! She was also wonderful in Grey Gardens. She also had my second favorite speech of the night! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Best Direction of a Musical – Michael Mayer
Heinous. I hate this man. Why was he qualified to direct this. Although – he looked like such a dumb-fuck with his speech – this made it a little better. Idiot never open with a lame inside joke. What a schmuck. The inside joke is this: When he directs – if something is good…he says “okay”, if something is bad…he says “heinous”. Isn’t that lame. Doesnt that give you a clue of how lame this schmuck is? Boooo!
Best Choreography – Bill T. Jones
Really? Because I’m pretty sure everything I have seen from this show sucks – especially movement wise. GRRRRRR! Who were the nominees? Let me look…..OH NO! I just looked it up. Based on the nominees – I would have to go with Jerry Mitchell. I really don’t like him. I can’t believe I just gave him the TONY.
Best Costume Design – William Ivey Long
Really – the costumes for Grey Gardens were good – but that was not his doing. It was Little Edie’s. She came up with the idea for her own Revolutionary Costume. But William has designed every musical ever. Doesn’t he always win?
“SHOWPEOPLE………. SHOWPEOPLE!” ~ Debra Monk – in the awful show - Curtains.
How great was Patti – shoved into this dress like a little sausge. Loves It! :
How lame was this chorus line opening? Marvin on the Marquis – lypsyching dancers, “Spring Awakening – to stage left please.” :
SHOWPEOPLE!
